The thing about Scandinavian short films is that they are so unbearably pretentious. Being Danish myself, I feel I can say this without stepping on any toes that aren't also my own. 'NU' (2003) is the perfect example, what with being shot in B&W for no good reason and lasting 27 minutes without dialogue. Come on.

On the other hand, the complete lack of a coherent storyline or believable character motivation can sometimes have its benefits. Such as when this


inexplicably turns into this


which in turn leads, somewhat more naturally, to this


and then - now making complete causal sense - to this


I do love me some wanton man-on-man snogging. If it doesn't make sense, you must acquit.

Title: Fits and Starts
Author: prodigal
Fandom: The State Within
Category: m/m slash
Pairing: Nicholas Brocklehurst/Mark Brydon
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 3,237
Warnings: None that I am aware of

Author’s note: Unbeta’d and only my second fic in English, ever, so er… this will undoubtedly show, but I’ve done my level best. Concrit welcomed!
I’m sure many writers and readers in this fandom care about plot, realism, and good storytelling. Questions like ‘what are they doing at that hotel’ and ‘what would such shenanigans mean for their professional relationship?’ spring to mind. I swear I also care about such questions occasionally. Now is not one of those times. What you get here is decidedly PWP. Dramaturgically unsound, smutty fluff-smut this way lies.

Summary: Nicholas realises he wouldn’t mind having sex with Mark Brydon. Mark’s supposedly being straight poses a bit of a challenge. But nothing insurmountable.

 

I'm watching the show anyway, because Monique Gabriela Curnen. Holy shit. Look:



You know when a person's facial expressions all give off the impression of subtle, good-natured humour and complete, relaxed self-reliance?

You know when a person's body language and timbre of voice add to that impression?

And you know when that person also has absolutely ludicrously attractive arms?

That's when I'll watch a series that really doesn't do anything for me, just for their appearances.

Not since Alien have I seen someone carry themself with so much natural coolness.

And to top it all off, she pairs up with goddamn Jeremy Renner of all people - it's like watching some parrallel universe in which arms are all unbelievable. Wow. Look at all those lovely arms!

It's a fallacy that people who care about rape culture must necessarily have been raped. I am one of the lucky people who has so far not happened to be in the vicinity of a rapist (at least not one who got the opportunity), yet I cannot remember a time in my life when rape culture was not a paramount concern to me.

I have always been galled at the way everyone present would jump to the conclusion that I was a survivor whenever I talked about the vileness of rapists and rape culture. Not because being a survivor is something to be ashamed about, which it obviously isn't, but because the assumption that rape culture is of no consequence to people who haven't been raped is so appallingly stupid and offensive.

It is offensive because it presupposes that if someone was raped, they must have done something wrong. The existence of rape can only be irrelevant to me if I am not in danger of being raped, and the only way for that to be the case is if there is some right way of acting that will keep a person safe from rape. Some rape-avoidance rules that survivors failed to observe. And that, as we know, is bullshit.

Do we, the ones who've been lucky so far, not live with the constant threat of rape? And more importantly, do we not empathise with those who were not lucky enough to not encounter a rapist? I know that what happened to survivors might just as easily have happened to me, and that any rapist would use the exact same justifications for raping me as they did when they raped others. So I am affronted, personally affronted, that rape exists. It is at best completely illogical to be anything else. At worst it is victim-blaming, pure and simple.

So I read this article about the unfortunate Smurfetting of Black Widow in Avengers. Basically, the author says Avengers fails the Bechdel test and she wishes it hadn't.

In the comments, I've been talking to a fan of the film who opines that it is not sexist for the film to have so few women and to not have any of the women talk to each other. OK. One might possibly argue that. But how do they argue that? Let's see.

What is their defence of the film not letting two women talk to each other? Well, the director "didn't have infinite time on his hands," you see.

( Translation for those of you who don't speak misogynese )

Now go die in a fire, you filthy motherfucking knuckledragging numbskulls. SO sick of you. If I could banish all of you to a world where all gender representation in popular culture is reversed, I would die a happy feminist. Now I guess I'll have to settle for flaying you alive.

Am I (dis)imagining things, or is it nigh on impossible to procure a slash fic involving an Adrien Brody character? How can this be?!


Adrien is sad face. Where is the slashy love?

I mean, it's not like there is nothing in his oeuvre to inspire slash ficcers to grasp their pens. He was a prostituted stripper in Summer of Sam, ferchrissakes

...and a punk rocker besides, which meant that he wore a spiky collar whenever he felt that the skull pendant was not enough for him. Come on!

In a last-ditch effort, Adrien demonstrates his adorability quotient:


What more incentive could you ungrateful sods wonderful creative souls possibly need? Get ficcing!

Have just watched Inception. Have nothing to add to the accolades showered on the film, except for this teensy weensy detail:

It must be nice to wake up from the nightmare and find that you were a privileged citizen all along. We just didn’t all have that advantage.

Ah, Inception is beautiful, beautiful,  beautiful. The CGI is beautiful. It’s beautifully scripted, beautifully filmed, beautifully cut, beautifully acted, and beautifully scored.

Half the world’s population is female, though. No, that’s actually wrong; make that 51% of the world’s population. So why is it, exactly, that I cannot - and I do mean

can

not

get to see my sex represented on film?

I am led to believe that Christopher Nolan worked on this film for a decade, i.e. ten years – ten years?!

In all that time, it did not occur to him that half of the world’s population is female. Wow.

Oh, I get it; Christopher Nolan is not responsible for the entire history of misogyny. Quite right. That is why all I expected from him was 50/50, and not 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000 females for every male to make up for the last two thousand years of bigotry in storytelling.

What did I get?

I got 12 story-supporting characters, 2 of whom were female. That’s 16,7% of the cast being female. Not quite the 51% that I had been hoping for, Christopher. And to top it all off, one of the females was the femme fatale; the background character that brings nothing but death. The other one was the secretary character, meaning the one that is sexually attractive in a non-threatening way whilst supporting the main character and bringing him his tea.

Oh yeah! And I do know that we are led to believe that the Mal character has the last word, it all being her dream or something. Funny, though, how she figures so little - she's fridged, ffs - and is never shown as anything but the Scary Woman, even though as far as I can make out, she died because the hero fucked up. Not to worry, though: she died in order to give him an interesting storyline, so her sacrifice was not in vain!



PS: Having to disallow comments on this post because the death threats are going to be a little bit much this time around.

Well, technically you didn't ask for it, but here it is anyway - the Picspam of Ultimate Doom.




( Many more pics. SFW only if your boss doesn't mind you looking at guys in their underwear )

Here is Marc-André Grondin. As you can see, he's a hottie.




Here are Nick Stahl and Marc-André Grondin together. These are production stills from the 2010 movie, The Chameleon.




( Nick and Marc getting it on )

Go on, Nick Stahl! Do it!! I know I would.

As we all know, only men can get Mpreggers. That’s why I left all contraception to my boyfriend in my last relationship even though I was certain I never wanted kids and knew that he did, and even though I did insist on having the exact kind of sex that can lead to Mpregnancy. He said he was on the Mpill, so that ought to be alright, right?

I know the only completely reliable form of contraception is to avoid that particular kind of sex, but you know... leaving my deposit in his uterass was enjoyable, so I thought what the heck.

I could have chosen to get my tubes tied – with vasectomies there is only a 0.025% chance of failure – but I couldn't be bothered. And condoms weren’t an option because they’re such a mood killer.

After I left my boyfriend, we haven’t had much contact, so in principle my ex could have had a kid by me without my knowing. For a while I thought that I would have no right to complain even if he did, because I was of the mistaken impression that I had to be responsible for my own actions. It is only now, years later, that I realise - thanks to the good folks commenting on this post- that in all this time, I may unknowingly have been the victim of egregious abuse!

If my ex was indeed knocked up by me without my consent, I can totally sue him and take the kid away from him, because no one should be allowed to be a parent if they’re abusive enough to keep someone’s gunk deposit against their will!

So what if I passed on a lot of contraceptive options myself?
So what if he takes care of the whole gestation process?
So what if I don’t have to spend time with the offspring?

I still have a right to decide that I don’t want to be a biological mother, goddammit, AND that I want to have risky sex anyway, AND that I want to leave contraception to my partner. That is my right as a woman!

Thank you, fanficrants , for bringing it to my attention that I don’t have to put up with those masculine wiles that men always come up with to trap women.

PS: I bet he totally abused me by having my kid while I was on skiing holiday! Wouldn’t that be just like a man?